If I Were Being Stalked by a Serial Killer, I’d Be a Goner

Suzie Spoon - Serial Killer

Suzie Spoon – Serial Killer (Photo credit: What What)

I love routine. My movements could be easily mapped. My patterns of behavior would be predictable.

Each day of every week looks pretty much the same. Some of you are already thinking:  BORING. But I’m of the school of thought that structure can be liberating. It maybe infinitesimal but it’s liberating none the less.

I AM A CREATURE OF HABIT! And proud of it. But it would make me an easy mark.

Weekday mornings I am “Major Mom” barking out orders like a drill instructor:

  • Eat
  • Brush
  • Dress
  • Shoes
  • Bags
  • Car
  •  NOW.
  • Move

My kids like “routine” too even if they won’t admit it. Okay, honestly, I’m sure they’d prefer Mommy taking a less militant approach but this is the only one I’ve got. Anyway, they like knowing what to expect next. (My husband is the adventurous, no script required, one in our household.)

I take the same route to work every day … at the same times. If I have to make stops, I plan them so that I don’t have to deviate much.

Back-to-School this year has been torture because nothing is routine. Why?

I’ve spent most of the past year getting just me out the door. Sure I woke the boys and fed them and laid out their clothes but hubby handled getting them out the door (which is the hardest part). I was comfortable.

Now I am managing it all including drop offs. To a new school. That’s in a different direction. And Tuesdays and Thursdays are different than Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, thanks to 3 day a week kindergarten.

I am totally freaking out. It’s only been 4 days and we haven’t hit our stride which makes me weary.

Have you ever heard the 21-days-to-a-new-habit philosophy? You know, the theory that it takes 21 days of practicing something in order to forma new habit; for it to become automatic. It’s heavily touted in the world of motivation.

I’ve never made it to day 21 for any specific action or behavior that I wanted to make a habit. Mostly because I lose track; stop counting the days but keep practicing. Continued practice can lead to operating on autopilot. Let me be honest … I usually give up. Because I want results now … I don’t want to wait 21 days or longer.

I begin this new school year in the mode of trial and error which is driving me insane. Like pull my hair out, curl up in a ball, and suck my thumb, kind of crazy.

Best routes from the new school to work? I don’t know. Not yet. Best path with the least traffic to the new school from home? Not sure. Yet. Best way to get back to school and pick up the dudes? No, idea. At least, not yet.

There is one plus in all this uncertainty:  I am safe from any would be stalkers. Each day has been different.

Like yesterday morning when my youngest said, “I forgot my water battle in Daddy’s car.”
To which I replied, “You left it at home?”
“No. I left it in Daddy’s car.”
“Which is at home. Do you really need it?”
“Yes,” through tears.

I went back to the house to get it. Why? Because he’s already struggling with starting kindergarten and this gave him peace of mind. Because that’s the kind of mom I am. Because, like I said, I’m crazy.

Or, like Wednesday when we had to go by the sitters to pick up the new hoodie my youngest left there because he needed it for the first day of school. “It’s part of my uniform.” It didn’t matter that it was already 80 degrees out. We took the detour to get it.

Take that serial stalker … you’ll have to wait a few months for me to figure out my routine. Then you can pick the best spot to nab me. Okay … seriously … I prefer not to be stalked or killed or kidnapped.

Alright, fess up. What routines are you not willing to let go of? What habits do you wish you could keep the same but are forced into changing? I can’t be the only one bordering on the obsessive compulsive.



  1. I live in constant disorder ova here. Constant is not a stretch. If I could drive a different route to work every day, change my office every day, and do a different job every day – I’d be one happy gal! Variety is the spice of life.

    My honey, on the other hand, would eat the same meals at the same time on the same plate every day. Routine, routine, routine. It drives me batty.

    I suppose that’s why I’m with him – so I can be the cinnamon to his vanilla and vice versa 😉

  2. I enjoy reading write-up. Hope i can discover a lot more articles like this one. Thanks for posting.

  3. Haha! My hubby always laughs at my before bed routine. I do all the regular things like floss and brush. But, I always have to use this back scratcher, which we received as a wedding present 8 years ago. And, yes it was something I registered for. And, no I can’t live without it. LOL!

  4. I’m not a routines person at all – although I don’t really need to be now that the kids have left school. I can’t believe you think of serial killers with your routine, because I’ve thought exactly the same thing! It must be the creative author in us 🙂 There is a story in everything (down to sticking to routines). One thing I do need every morning is a coffee, but I don’t necessarily have to get it from the same place each day .I’m not fussy – as long as it’s warm and has some coffee in it 😀

    I hope you find a ‘regular’ way to school each day – in a few weeks I’m sure you will have settled in nicely!

  5. I like a bit of routine, but I also liking doing stuff out of the blue as well. Too much routine makes me feel stagnant, like I haven’t really accomplished anything during the day. One routine I wish I could’ve kept up is sleeping in, but with a full time job I can’t do that. Though I guess that’s hardly the same thing, haha.

  6. I am the go without a plan type who feels boxed in with too much routine. Fortunately, my husband balances that out so our life is not complete chaos!! 😉 But don’t feel alone. I have read similar sentiments from other friends whose kids are just starting the school year. Look back in 3 months and you may find that this time of adventure led you to learn something great! 🙂

    • It’s good to know I’m not the only parent this year struggling with Back-To-School. Hopefully, I will look back and see that I learned something great. Thanks for sharing. It’s good to have balance between fly by the seat of your pants and structure. LOL! Can’t wait to see pix from your most recent trip. Welcome back!

  7. I’m like you. Love routine and am a bit ritualised in some of the things I do.
    It’s probably OCD because I find the routine comforting.
    The Fashion Mister and I used to walk together until he wanted to change the route…I didn’t like that idea…so we don’t walk together anymore. 🙂

  8. Whitney Rains says:

    I had an entire workout routine worked out and followed it. I felt happier and was way more productive. Now that school started I’ve had to move things around the last few weeks and missed a lot of workouts because of random meetings scheduled at random times. By the time I get home and after walking in 100 degree weather all day, I’m exhausted and usually fall asleep on the couch. I feel so out of balance and cranky.

    My mom was like you, we always had a routine everyday. Now that I’m out on my own I’ve always had a routine, especially when I was an undergrad in college. In grad school, it’s been a little harder to maintain it and it throws me off so much! So, don’t worry. You are not the only one dealing with this!

  9. Okay, I have to be honest, I cannot think of one thing I do routinely at the moment. I used to go to Starbucks everyday and order the same exact drink (a short nonfat latte), but have given it up. Even then, it was at different times. I’m trying to get myself on a schedule in order to accomplish more in life, we’ll see how it goes. My husband is more the routine person in our house.

    • Tara, I envy you. I am so predictable. Thankfully my husband forces me outside my comfort zone. For example, tonight he’s making pumpkin chili. I’m putting on my brave adventurous face for the kids so they’ll try it. Good luck with finding some routines and structure that works for you.

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