Nov 26, 2012

What’s Your Story?

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Film poster for Pretty Woman - Copyright 1990,...

Film poster for Pretty Woman – Copyright 1990, Touchstone Pictures (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Remember this line from the movie, Pretty Woman:

“Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don’t; but keep on dreamin’ – this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin’.”

I feel like the guy asking the question; only you could say my question is:  “What’s your story? Hey, come tell me your story.”

No matter who you are or who you’re becoming. No matter where you are, where you’ve been, or where you’re going. You have a story.

I forget that sometimes. As I wind my way through the city at the start of each day. Passing other parents with waves and nods as we drop our children off at school. Smiles and conversations of varied brightness.

I don’t remember it as I stop-go-stop-go-stop-go down the road to work. Weaving my way through traffic, we’re all trying to get somewhere. It’s part of our story.

I fail to see it when I cross paths with my coworkers in the halls and as I interact with clients of diverse backgrounds and influence.

And by this point in my day it’s only 8:30A. Imagine if I were to consider all the potential touch points of my day. How many people have I passed? Are you with me? How often do we see people without seeing them as people? As a collection of joys and sorrows; hurts and celebrations; and gifts and shortcomings. Broken, healing, and broken again.

Story matters. It’s important. But I selfishly tend to focus on the stories that directly have an impact on my life. Or stories that I am personally invested in like my husband and dudes; my friends and extended families, because to do otherwise is overwhelming.

More and more, lately, I don’t have a choice. Stories are finding me. Women are seeking me out and telling me their stories as if I’m the Happy Man standing on the street corner calling out to them.

The spectrum of women ranges from “I only know you by sight but can’t remember your name” to “Something must be wrong because I haven’t spoken to you today and we talk every day.”

Prompting isn’t required beyond a “How’s it going?” or “What’s new with you?” The levels of disclosure are vastly different; from incredibly intimate to superficial – I’m just having a bad day. Usually, they are unloading a burden or secret. Sometimes they just need someone to listen to what might seem mundane. Or, they may want to trust someone with their dream.

At work, this week I stopped in the kitchen area to get sweetener for my coffee. A coworker was frantically looking through the cabinets.

Me:  “Good morning.”
Coworker: “We’re out of creamer.”
Me:  “No we’re not. There’s some right there.”
Coworker: “Oh yeah but I like the flavored creamer.”
Me:  “Oh okay.”

She sighed and went away with black coffee. I felt bad for her. I went back to my desk and pulled out the last of my flavored creamer and took it to her. About 10 minutes later she sent me a note thanking me for taking what was an already bad morning (before the creamer issue) and helping her overcome the crabbiness about it.

It didn’t seem like a big deal to me but it was a big deal to her. I received a glimpse of her story in that moment. My response changed her story for the day.

After writing my notes for this post, I met with two very busy lawyers. I just needed input on materials I was working on. I wanted to respect their time and promised to be brief. To my surprise both women engaged me in lengthy conversations about their lives. They just needed to talk.

Why me? I don’t know.

There is a burden of responsibility when carrying around someone else’s story. They have to be handled with care. I am amazed by the depths of trust freely given.

And the most surprising and rewarding outcome is that caring for a story that’s not my own and not mine to tell, alters my story. My life is enriched by it. I am forever changed with each secret shared and I am grateful.

Now I am calling out:  What’s your story? Who do you confide in? What do you do with the stories placed in your care?

Photo from Zemanta …

Filed Under: Opinion, Personal · Tagged: , ,
Nov 16, 2012

Making Real the Moment

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Interview

Interview (Photo credit: smiling_da_vinci)

I’ve always been able to daydream away my problems, at least for a little while.

One of my writer dreams since before I committed to actually writing (last year) … since my early twenties really … To have Oprah Winfrey select and use my work of fiction in her book club. Followed, of course, by an author interview on her show.

The only change to this dream over the years has been style related. As fashion changes so does what I’m wearing in my visualization.

Now that Oprah has moved on to do her OWN thing, I haven’t kept up with her shows or formats. I know she still does the book club but I don’t know the details.

As a result, my visualization has changed. The interviewer is faceless. The set is different. Again my outfit is different. But the one constant:  I arrive at this moment. In my mind I make real the moment of becoming a published writer, an author. Sought after. Movie rights sold.

So … out of my writer’s toolbox into yours, I give you visualization.

It helps when I get discouraged or feel inadequate or hit a wall and become blocked.

I imagine an interviewer asking me questions about the point in the story where I’m blocked. I imagine that the end result is so fabulous that people want to know how I pulled it off in my novel.

By answering the questions the interviewer asks, I work out solutions and overcome the writer’s block. In essence, I interview my way back to writing the story, back to momentum.

This may sound weird but I’m not the only one who uses such tactics. It comes in many forms.

For example, earlier this year I came across a blog where the author had a friend take his book jacket photo. It was a brooding black and white of the author. Artistic. Clever. I thought it was brilliant. This author was making real the moment. The moment of success and accomplishment.

I plan on doing this as one of my milestones. I love it.

Some writers I know print images to post in their writing spaces to represent their characters or their environments.

My writing partner sent me a picture of a Queen of Hearts Halloween costume. I’d just figured out who my villain would be and this image made her real. Dark hair and tanned skin, clothed in a red and black Elizabethan collar dress. She’s my Red Queen.

Another writing friend sent me a picture of cupcakes via Pinterest. How can you go wrong with an image of cupcakes? The cupcakes were decorated for an Alice in Wonderland theme party. Her note said, “This is how we’ll celebrate the completion of the first draft.”

Since my writing space is portable, I carry the images with me by pasting copies in my journal.

Both my writing partners in their own way were holding me accountable by making real my villain and finished draft. They were helping me visualize success of my WIP about what happens before and after Lewis Carroll’s works:  Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.

And today, I stood in the mirror curling my hair thinking … How will I create the history for this story? How were The Few formed to protect the mirrors that lead to Wonderland?

I didn’t have answers. My reflection looked at me and shrugged. That’s when the interviewer showed up. Now I have some notes that will help me move the story along. Call me happy writer.

What’s in your writer’s toolbox? What tricks do you use to stay motivated to write or overcome writer’s block?

Photo from  Zemanta

Filed Under: Writing · Tagged: , , , ,
Nov 10, 2012

Joy Unexpected …

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Have you ever been asked to do something you really didn’t want to do but found yourself saying yes? Only to find out that you would have missed something amazing if you had opted out?

That’s what recently happened to me.

I’ve been asked to participate on a committee for our church’s women’s retreat. My first inclination was to say no. Give the excuse that I am operating at capacity and didn’t have room for one more responsibility.

But I said yes.

Then I received the request to travel to the retreat location. The first couple of times there were valid reasons; scheduling conflicts and I couldn’t make the trip. On the third attempt to plan the road trip I couldn’t find a way out.

My excuse I wanted to give? It just happened that I’d had a hectic week and wanted my weekend to myself so that I could rest and rejuvenate. I didn’t want to make small talk or be out in the cold.

And frankly the words “campground” and “cabin” created mental images of outhouses or toilet paper rolls in the woods. I wasn’t always a luxury loving lady but I doubted that I’d made the right decision about facilitating a retreat in the woods.

But I said yes.

I am so thankful I did. If I hadn’t I would have missed out on a beautiful autumn day with two fabulous ladies whom I admire.

And, it turns out “campground” and “cabin” in this location is equivalent to condos near the lake with Wi-Fi and other modern conveniences like indoor plumbing, wood floors, and gas fireplaces. Each condo is appropriately named to entice folks to come for a retreat:

  • Peace
  • Joy
  • Happiness
  • Hope
  • Faith
  • Rest

I need to enter through one (if not more) of these doors. We’ve rented out the first three.

If I hadn’t said yes, I would have missed out watching my friends’ children and grandchildren playing together. Laughing and enjoying the crisp and clear fall day. Seeing the next generation forming relationships did my heart good.

If I hadn’t said yes, I would have missed the spectacular view of Lake Michigan from the gazebo where people may choose to say “I do”. A tribute to ceremony and commitment. I love it.

If I hadn’t said yes, I would have missed these scenic views of the lake. I needed the beauty and serenity of this place. It revitalized me more than sleeping in could have done.

If I hadn’t said yes, I would have missed this quaint little building:  The Prayer Chapel. It’s only tall enough for you to enter and kneel. How amazing and humbling!

And best of all it allowed me to come back and share these wonders. It will allow me to promote the retreat with an enthusiasm and excitement. I am so thankful for the unexpected joy I experienced by saying YES when I wanted to say no.

What are you’re unexpected joy moments? I’d love to hear them.

Photo credits:  Gail A. Hanson

Filed Under: Postcards, ~isms · Tagged: , , , , ,
Nov 5, 2012

Twitter Advice for Newbies Like Me …

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Thanks for advice in response to my post … I learned some very helpful things.

Some of you shared you would be checking the comments for the advice. I thought I’d make it easy for you by providing it here. No need to scroll through the comments.

Take what works for you and leave the rest …

  • Figure out how you want to use Twitter. Knowing is half the battle. Is it just to follow friends, family, or other people of interest? Is it for the purpose of building writer platform? Or is it for some other reason? The answers to these questions can help you determine: who you’ll follow, what you’ll tweet, and why it’s tweet worthy. You can use it to:
    • Network
    • Research topics
    • Polls on topics
  • You’re in control. You can turn off tweets from individuals you follow e.g. if you don’t want the political season spam or they just tweet excessively. As my blogger friend, Talli put it, “It is much less offensive to follow / unfollow on Twitter than Facebook. A Facebook “unfriend” is akin to a slap in the face to some.”
  • Numbers are fluid so don’t worry about them. They will change constantly. Some people expect the follow in return for a follow and will unfollow if there isn’t reciprocation. “So, lots of followers doesn’t mean squat.”
  • Cultivate relationships with the list feature. You can keep track of the people you really want to hear from by creating lists. Then you won’t miss stuff from the people you most want to support. Favorite, reply, retweet and repeat. Go for it.
  •  Learning something new takes time. Again, don’t worry. Don’t stress. It will come.
  • Have fun and be real. It’s a great way to reveal who you are in sound-bites kind of like revealing characters in a story. So share the humorous, random, odd, and non-meaningful.
  • Make it work for you. You can have all your social media talking to one another. Your tweets can show up on Facebook at the same time. Your Instagram photos can hit your Twitter and Facebook page simultaneously. Your blog can publicize to Twitter and Facebook. All with the click of a button. You decide.
  • Put it in perspective. My blogger pal, Britt says, “Ah, Twitter. What a fickle beast.” Good to keep in mind. It will help you stay sane.

If there are other thoughts that weren’t shared here … add them to the comments, it’s not too late to help out the newest to the twitter-verse.

 

Filed Under: Opinion · Tagged: , ,