On my journey to meeting Mr. Right, I often wondered how I would know who I should spend the rest of my life with.
When I was working retail, I met lots of women who were buying new clothes for their honeymoon or engagement party or rehearsal dinner. These women were so “in love”. You could tell by the way they talked about their intendeds.
What a great pool of test subjects? I would ask these women how they knew that this person was the person they should marry.
At this point, they would get that look. You know the one … Eyes roll heavenward … hand falls on bosom some where near the heart … smile goes lopsided … their breath catches in their throat … they check out for just a moment.
Then they would remember that you’d asked them a question; that you were still standing there, eyes wide, head tilted to the side waiting for an answer.
“I just knew. You know?”
It never failed. This was ALWAYS the response. Always. And I have to say, I hated it! I wanted to understand. I wanted to know the “how”. I needed to know so that I wouldn’t make a mistake when it came my turn to choose a life partner.
They would usually tell me the moment they knew. Like: “I got on the train to go home and realized …” Or, “I was sitting on my deck having a cup of coffee …”
I would say, “Yeah, but how did you know?”
“I don’t know. I just knew.”
How annoying! As a person who is ruled by her emotions you would think this answer would be reassuring, even appealing to me. But it wasn’t because too much was on the line. My forever was at stake.
So enter my hubby to be … We attended my girlfriend’s wedding (remember I needed a date) and when the weekend came to an end, he drove me to the train station. I found a seat on the train. Waved until he was out of sight. Then was immediately plagued by nausea and regret. A series of thoughts running through my muddled head:
- Why am I on this train?
- Do I really need to go to work tomorrow?
- Do I really need a job?
- Why am I leaving him here?
That was the moment I knew he was the one. That was the moment I understood the, “I Just Knew” response.
Two months after meeting him, my forever fell into place because I’d fallen in love. It reminds me of the movie Father of the Bride when she says, “I met a man in Rome and we’re getting married.” And Steve Martin’s character hears the words like they are coming out of the mouth of a 7 year old.
Two months after that realization, I quit my job, packed up and followed him across country. My family was a little concerned because this was drastic for me. Chasing after a man?
No promises were made (yet), he’d talked about having a surprise for me. I decided we would play 20 questions … “Is it bigger than a bread box?” He said, “It’s bigger than a tree.”
It didn’t matter what the surprise was … giving up my career at the time and leaving my family behind all seemed like it was worth the risk. And it was.
When I got off the plane he helped me load my luggage in the trunk. I peered inside expecting to see a beautifully wrapped package the size of a small tree. But there wasn’t a gift in the trunk. The gift was the promise to love me for all time. A gift that’s bigger than anything you can imagine. Wrapped in the smallest package: a ring box, containing an engagement ring. He proposed.
Two years later we were married in a planned elopement. Our families and friends met us in Las Vegas for a ceremony at the Chapel of the Bells. Followed by a reception dinner at the Rio Hotel & Casino buffet.
I am so thankful; I didn’t have to question my decisions. I followed my feeling of “I just knew” and getting to the feeling of “he’s the one for me.”
Fourteen years of love …